Freedom and Restrictions

Foam insulation in the great room walls and ceiling
Access to my bedroom since last night is through here!

Today I have access, if in a very convoluted way through studs, to my kitchen and laundry so I am doing laundry and getting my meals and I even got my studio vacuumed so that feels better.  I think the worst of this is everyone telling me what I have to do.  It doesn’t matter that it is for my own good.  In fact, that actually makes it worse since that has been the story of my life.  

I was always told that others knew best (mostly my father) and that I was incapable of looking after myself so I would just have to do as I was told.  Then I internalized that and basically put my father into my head, again telling me what I could or couldn’t do.  This fact, added to my personality type (see last post), has made it so I’ve about reached the end of my rope.  I honestly don’t care about dust etc. nearly as much as I care about having freedom to make my own decisions and move unencumbered.

A flashlight was all the light I had last night.  It is
sitting on the sheet rock which has blocked my hallway.

So even though two guys are out in my construction zone putting up sheet rock at a fantastic rate, I am still out there, getting my laundry done (although I have to sort it in piles in my studio which makes it harder).  I have gotten tea whenever I want it, and my breakfast shakes and so forth.  It is challenging to get the laundry carried through the narrow stud space (which also holds the plumbing for the 1/2 bath toilet!), but I am managing.  I have found that I’m actually pleased about discovering inventive ways to accomplish my usual tasks–it inspires my creativity.

The foam insulation sure seems neater and nicer!

I’m not sure if I am ever again going to be able to handle having my bedroom door sealed.  That is just the last straw, and again, I know everyone’s intentions are well-meaning, but for me the cure is worse than the disease!  I will keep my door shut, and maybe someone can even devise some sort of gasket or strip on the other side so more dust is caught, but I need to have access to my kitchen and have the ability to come and go out the front door.  Yesterday when I had to hike through the snow to get from my bedroom to the front door was the crowning blow.  Of my four outside doors, only two of them are currently functional.  Therefore, I must have my bedroom door as a way to get from here to there inside the house, and I’ll decide if I think it is too dusty at any given moment to go through the door.  Thanks to Leigh’s brillance with the window cut in the bedroom door, I can look before I leap.  And I am trying to be sensible and minimize my time in the construction zone as I know that is healthier.

Front picture windows and foam insulation

On the plus side, I was able to manage a bucket shower again this morning since yesterday was very cold and then overnight it got way cold again, so my shower head is again frozen.  But I’m finding the bucket system isn’t too bad, and it allows me to have my outdoor shower so that is wonderful.  And I noticed last night that the furnace ran a ton less than it has since I lost insulation months ago!  It was a very graphic demonstration of the importance of insulation!  And now that I have insulation I don’t feel as guilty about having the furnace running (with so much heat loss), so I’ve set my thermostat back to 68!  It has been at 65 or even lower and that is just way too cold.  So there is progress and if I can just hold on, things will sort.  Leigh brought me a delicious dinner last night which she got at our nicest island restaurant, The Hardware Store, and today she arrived bearing a smoothie and delicious soup from Pure, another of our island eateries which I’ve been meaning to try–it is all vegan and organic–but somehow it has seemed too scary.  This way I got to sample their offerings in the comfort of my wonderfully warm home!

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