Construction Blues

Leigh cut a window in my bedroom door and then used
plastic on both sides so we can at least see out into the
construction zone, sort of like a prison window but it helps.

Only some bad photos today since I am not allowed in the construction zone during the insulation installation, but I’m writing anyway to try to sort why I’m doing so badly.  I actually don’t mind living in my little studio apartment (aka bedroom).  The 331 sq. ft. serves the 6 of us very well (I have two dogs and three cats).  But we don’t handle it well when access to the kitchen and front door are denied.  It is also hard on the cats not to be able to roam at night.  I have been borderline tears or in tears for two days and this phase of construction is going to go one for at least another two weeks!  I am ready to quit and say I’ll just live in my home the way it is.  

And this is the view we get!  Batting in the ceiling close
up (the non-cathedral ceiling), and the beginnings of
foam in the walls and cathedral ceiling.

The sheet rock was delivered this morning (at 7:15AM!!) and the installation of that starts tomorrow morning.  It almost had to be delayed because the insulation guys from yesterday, the batting insulation guys, installed the batting incorrectly, which would have meant that sheet rock couldn’t start until Monday.  Daryl, my wonderful plumber, and Leigh, best contractor in the world, and Jay, a wonderful carpenter, just pitched in and did the insulation batting correctly so that we are still on schedule.  I do have fantastic people helping me which makes me feel even worse that I’m so upset.  I wonder if I could get away with just having the sheet rock put up and maybe taped, but not mudded and just painted and go with it.

The batting in the ceiling up close was done wrong, so
Leigh, Daryl, and Jay pitched in and re-did it correctly.

My therapist mentioned yesterday in an e-mail that my personality type, #4 on the Enneagram Chart, has its natural melancholy triggered by days which act to constrict her or her movements, and so what I’m feeling is the melancholy being triggered.  However, understanding the cause and dealing with it are two different things, I’m finding.  I am definitely crabby and depressed, and I’m sure hard to deal with and it bothers me a lot that everyone, especially Leigh, is working so hard to facilitate this and make things easier to bear, while at the same time looking out for the health of me and my critters, but knowing this in my head and handling it in my heart are two very different things.  Right now I’d just as soon drop the entire project, even though I know (again in my head) that I have cool stuff coming–new colored appliances, wonderful kitchen cabinets, rainbow colored closets, etc.  I would have thought that would have been enough to help me through what I knew from the get-go was going to be the worst part of this project, but at the moment it isn’t.

Having a window out of my room does help and if I
didn’t need my kitchen so much I think I’d manage better.

And if I had my kitchen in here in my studio with everything else, then that too, would make things much better, but the fridge simply won’t fit through the door, and so I’m trapped, or that is how I feel.  I am grateful that I have my little studio and if I didn’t need a kitchen I could manage, but I miss my Insta-hot and endless cups of tea and having my sprout salad for lunch (today is a larabar, carrot sticks, and an apple).  And I know that no one forced me into this rebuilding of my home–I did it to myself.  None of this makes me feel any better.  People telling me that it is “only” for a short time and that two weeks isn’t that long doesn’t help either, even if they might be right.  And it will be better when the snow melts so that I could walk around the side of my home without worrying about stepping on plants or getting wet feet.  But none of that helps today.  Today just must be endured.  Sorry for being so down and sorry to all those who are working so hard to help me.  Wish I could be more grateful.  And the sun is even shining and my frozen shower head thawed itself out this morning, so that is good. 

6 responses

  1. I'd be just as crabby if I was in your position.I Hope things improve soon! šŸ™‚

  2. Thanks, Lydia! I don't like it when I can't roll with the punches, but this has just really gotten to me. And I know everyone is trying so hard to make it work for me! Anyway, I will try to be patient and think about how lovely it will all be eventually.

  3. Hang on — "all good things take time," as an associate at my former employment used to say. I've been through that construction mode with rehabbing a house and it does challenge your moods. I had two large dogs and we basically lived in two rooms until it was finished. Be ever so thankful for good contractors — they are worth their weight in gold. Plan how you are going to celebrate on the day is is finally done.– barbara

  4. I would find that really difficult too. Hang in there…the time will pass soon enough and you'll be over it and able to enjoy your efforts in your lovely home. This is probably just me, but when I feel trapped, I like to construct a fantasy context around the circumstances and pretend along with it…it changes the "color" and tone of the situation…Could you buy or borrow an electric tea kettle, so you could make hot tea in your room?

  5. Thanks, Barbara, and yes, I am very grateful for wonderful contractors! And I manage pretty well as long as I can use my bedroom door. Today, for instance, even with two guys here installing all my sheetrock, I got all my laundry done, got my lunch fixings to make my lunch in my studio, got tea refills, etc. and it has been fine. I just have to insure that I'm not taped in again! I'll take dust over that any day! I'm glad you understand–it is challenging to say the least. Thanks for your encouragement!

  6. Hi Rose, Thanks also for your kind words, and I shall try to construct a fantasy for being trapped! Right now I'm figuring if I don't have to have my bedroom door taped I will be ok. I'll limit the amount of time I spend in the construction zone and be fast, but right now I only have two of my exterior doors functional and walking out my bedroom slider, through the snow and cold, to get to the front isn't doing it for me either. And I did think about the electric tea kettle, but I still need my fridge! I'm sure I'm driving my wonderful contractor mad, but I just can't handle being taped in and if that is the only way to finish the sheetrock then I think the sheetrock won't be finished. We shall see what next week brings. At least no one is working here tomorrow! Thanks for your support !

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