As some of you already know, I haven’t done my own cooking for a number of years. I have a friend who needed a job and who loves to cook, so she has been providing my food for several years now. However, yesterday, in my discussions with my therapist, I realized that my issues around cooking stem from the way I was raised and the way my ex-husband carried that mind-set on for our 20 year marriage. I was always told that I couldn’t cook. This was just part of the baggage of being told that I couldn’t take care of myself, etc. And I have bought into that for way too many years.
So today, after much soul-searching and thought, I have decided that my therapist is right–I need to take back my identity and my power in this very important area. I need to learn to cook for myself as a way of nurturing me and as yet another creative outlet. I think maybe this is why so I have been drawn to several blogs which deal either primarily or at least often with vegan cooking. I have been inspired by what these women manage to create and how wonderful it all sounds. I have no idea if I will be able to do that also, but I sure won’t know if I’m not willing to try it out.
And so I’m getting a gas cook-top put into my kitchen (well as soon as the gas line is run to my home as part of the alternative heat source project) and for once I’ve made the decision at an auspicious time as my kitchen along with the center of my home is currently under remodel. I sure will be hoping for help from my readers to guide me in this new adventure. For instance, I have no pans. My therapist says that with a good wok I will be able to do wonders, but what is a good wok? I’m looking into raw foods and in fact have a couple books coming from Amazon on Tuesday (including the Idiot’s Guide to Raw Foods!), but I noticed already that they make use of blenders, juicers, dehydrators, food processors, etc. etc. I have none of these and I sure would be interested in what you lovely cooks like and use.
I am reasonably intelligent and my food tastes are simple. My favorite dish is steamed veggies with tofu over rice or other grains (can’t do wheat), but when I did the steamed veggies they tasted pretty boring. The ones my friend makes have nutritional yeast and I imagine other stuff, but when I tried that, when she was on vacation, it was a gummy disastrous mess! And I had a delicious amaranth and millet cereal with raisins and coconut milk made by my friend Leigh’s friend Pat when my usual cook was on vacation, but I have no clue how to do that either. Ok, I’m basically a complete novice in the kitchen. I can boil water, and I have a veggie steamer for steaming things like edamame. Otherwise, I need to learn vegan wheat-free cooking from the ground up in a gentle and non-frightening way, so any recipes or help would be gratefully received.
I know that this is a good path for me and that it will enable me to put a lot of old demons to bed. It is exciting on the one hand and absolutely terrifying on the other. However, I do have my frozen edamame, my protein bars from my doctor’s office, my soy yogurt, and my soy ice cream, so I have basics to survive on while I learn. And it will be another way for me to discover that I can take care of myself on all levels, that I am a creative and at times inspired person. It will enable me to try something new, which my personality type does thrive on, and when that something new proves to be good and wonderful, it will also lessen my fears of the unknown and encourage me to try more new things.
So there it is–a new page in my life, a new adventure, and I welcome any help along the way!